Nickleback found dead, nobody cares

It appears that fatty old lady "rock band" Nickleback has died. Apparently their plane crashed somewhere in Canada two months ago and it is just now being noticed by the band's lone fan. The fan, who wishes to be called L33T DuNG30n M@5tur, had the following to say "I was like, at the concert, and like, they weren't there. I waited a week and a half. They owe me a concert." At this point the fan is insisting that the FAA go recover the flight recorders, known as the "Black box" to find out what happened...even though the FAA has no jurisdiction in Canada. A spokesman of the FAA went on record to say "Even if the plane had crashed in the United States, who cares?" The only bodies found were the band members who apparently attempted to survive by eating each others semen. Oddly the pilot and co-pilot of the plane are nowhere to be found. Stay tuned to find out more about this incident as details are uncovered...